This week was not nearly as productive as we would have preferred, here at the Calamity. We are at great pains to produce and share the development of attractions, as well as a handful of sideshows, here, Backstage. But alas, sometimes we must err in favor of the development of some attractions over others, and our own independently produced attractions will always take precedence over traveling sideshows we may feature.
For example, this week we offer no Calamity on Cinema feature. This is largely due to a lack of films in our repertoire which synergize with one another to produce a functional list, and the lack of time to review enough films to flesh a proper list out. If this column is one which you look forward to each week, we sincerely apologize for its absence this week. We expect to include Calamity on Cinema in next week’s edition.
Cinema aside, all our other features are here for your displeasure: Under Construction brings you updates with regard to Groundskeeper; Isabelle and Edgar are making their way out of the Manor in A Vampire’s Vengeance; Mr. Garcia makes another dreamwalk in House; we’ve moved beyond foggy, misty stories and are now presenting witches in our classic horror feature; and the bus driver deals with a flat under threat of being overwhelmed by infected in Bus Driver.
Let’s get into it →
Well well well, it appears Groundskeeper has finally arrived on the editor’s desk! If you recall from last week's post, I mentioned Groundskeeper was being prepped for editing. Well, this week, Groundskeeper has seen some editing. We have completed the prologue, the first chapter, and have begun working through the second chapter. Isn’t this exciting? We may see a Groundskeeper book released in the near future. Unfamiliar with Groundskeeper? You can dive into this story here.
In other news, there is no other news. We had hoped to revive Rise of the Warlock Queen this week, and also to begin a final pass in Unholy Requiem, but alas, these did not occur. Perhaps next week. In the meantime, please enjoy the Backstage features that follow below.
You’ll never guess what’s going on with our vampires in this edition’s installment! Okay, maybe you can, maybe you can’t; we’re going to tell you regardless: we’re finally out of the Manor! Not sure if that’s good or not, as there is much that remains to be explored in the Manor. Perhaps Isabelle and Edgar will do that another time.
And what of our dear fellow, the Dreamwalker? He’s spent some time wandering the house; is he going to wander his dreams again? Find out how this fellow fares in this week’s installment of House:
I think we are dispensed with the foggy, misty, phantomy stories for the time being. Why not enjoy a sordid story in the vein of New England colonists accusing a woman of being a witch? What can possibly go wrong?
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The gift of time is, for many, an incredible gift indeed. Unless, of course, it is not a gift at all and arrives with a cost in excess of what one may be willing to pay …A tale from the Odds ‘n’ Endings Boutique.
Wow are we in the middle of an intense situation. The bus has managed to escape a monstrous evolved infected, and as they’re pulling away, they get a flat! What dumb fucking luck. Well, it appears the worst is behind them and they just have to take care of this tire, right? Right?!
Of course not! Screams sound all around, indicating more infected are en route to devour everyone. You can catch up with Part XV here. Will the bus driver and Anne’s troops get the tire swapped out in time? Or will they fall prey to the incoming swarm? Let’s find out →
"The Bomb Brigade, most likely," she said with a sour note. "Those good-for-nothings are stopped on the other side, probably just to watch. The fucking posers."
The bus driver looked at Anne with a raised eyebrow.
"Too much to tell, not enough to tell it," she said. "Usually we spend our days beating each other up, but when the infected show up, they cover that side and we cover this side." Anne began walking toward the small cluster of passengers, the bus driver in tow. The screams continued to reverberate around them. "If that spare's good, you won't see another big one here. You'll be long gone."
"How do you know that? What if there's one up ahead?" The bus driver's voice wavered as he asked the questions.
Anne barked a laugh.
"Hear all that screaming? They're still pretty far and don't sense or smell us. They're screaming because they know something went wrong. They always do this when we take down a big one, so we're used to it. Trouble is, it only takes one screamer to get close enough to find us all gathered here to summon the rest of 'em. That's why we're trying to get you out of here fast, so we can get out of here too."
They approached the passengers. The bus driver did not feel any better about the screaming. He said so, prompting another bit of laughter from Anne.
"Sure, sure! You won't." She clapped him on the back. "Just know it isn't bad until you hear the warbling."
One of the soldiers called to Anne, throwing her a thumbs up as she spun around. The bus driver looked as well. The spare was on the bus; two soldiers were jogging toward a vehicle with a toolbox and air compressor while another two were stashing the flat in the cargo bay. Once the bay was locked up, the soldier tossed the keys to the bus driver who fumbled them. Embarrassed, the bus driver bent over to pick them up.
That's when the warbling began.
Everyone froze. Anne. The soldiers. The passengers. The bus driver. Any commotion coming over from the other side of the highway stopped as well.
"Fuck."
That was Anne. She turned and shouted commands at her soldiers who hustled to comply. She then turned to the bus driver.
"Get your people on board and get out of here."
The bus driver stepped up to the bus door as he shouted to the passengers to get on board. The passengers scurried to climb aboard. The whole area was crawling with people hurrying. Anne was already rushing toward her vehicle nearby when a brute of a man appeared from around the bus, calling out to her.
Anne stopped and turned. The warbling grew louder, the screaming sounded closer, yet all the soldiers this side of the highway paused to listen to the brute and Anne. The brute was shaking his head.
"As much as I'd like to watch you get crushed by what's coming," he said, "I think we're going to need you as much as you're going to need us." He wore a deep frown as if it were permanently etched into his face.
"You gotta be fucking kidding me, Salamander." Anne didn't appear worried, concerned, or scared; nay, she looked pissed.
Salamander shook his head, and didn't stop shaking his head as he spoke: "There's two in the crowd that's coming. At least on our side."
A red flare went up from within the city. Everyone watched as it soared up and into the sky. Then they all turned their attention back to Anne and Salamander.
"That makes a third," said Anne. She locked eyes with the bus driver. "What are you still doing here? Get the fuck out, now! You can still get away."
What the fuck IS the bus driver waiting for? Let’s get out of there, buddy! Yesterday! Well, now we know what lies in wait in the dark of the desert. Will the bus driver get his passengers out of there in time? Or will the swarm overtake them and the story come to a grisly end? Only one way to find out! Tune in next week!
Not as packed as prior editions, without Calamity on Cinema, yet still packed with lots to see, yes? What’s your favorite feature in this little Backstage e-zine of ours? We would love to hear all about it. Please reply to this email and let us know! Or feel free to use and of the buttons in the survey below. We look forward to hearing from you.
See you next week!
Cordially,
Mad Alex
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