🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡
After having watched each film on this list, we wonder how some films were skyrocketed to iconic status, and have remained there over the years. What is it about these films that remain perched at the pinnacle of notoriety in horror, despite their incredible failures in providing anything more than minor thrills in unsubstantiated violence?
These films celebrate violence for the sake of violence, which, as far as entertainment is concerned, is fine. It is, after all, a massive slice of the horror pie. And yet, plenty of violence-for-the-sake-of-violence films provide some semblance of a plot, and are actually interesting to watch.
Not these. Plot? We don't do plot in these parts. We only do murder. We got psychos murdering. We got dream thugs murdering. Kids, adults, parents, counselors, cops, robbers, everyone's getting murdered! And why all this murder?
Because murder, that's why!
It is, quite honestly, droll. The characters are not interesting, the backstories of the killers are either non-existent or mildly relevant. Five clowns, according to JEST! So why are we sharing this list? Because Halloween’s coming up, that’s why! In the same vein as the classic horror stories we share, there is some value in understanding where modern horror is borne from.
So, prepare yourself for a weekend of mindless self indulgence as you parade through some of the most notorious, yet ridiculous, horror films available. Since tomorrow is Friday, kick off the weekend with Friday the 13th. After watching all the counselors discover the hard way why the camp at Crystal Lake was kept shuttered, head to Haddonfield, Illinois and watch Michael Myers continue the murder spree he began 15 years prior. Once everyone's dead whose going to die, make your way to Elm Street, where the nightmares are a scream!
Just leave your brain at the door for an improved viewing experience.
Find the list on Letterboxd here:
Where do we even begin with these films? Normally, we select one film to drill into, but as there is little to appreciate among these unless you’re absolutely reaching, we’re going to address all three. There’s little difference between Friday the 13th, Halloween, and A Nightmare on Elm Street. All three films center on a lone killer on a murderous rampage. All three films prey on a group of victims who lack situational awareness and absurdly exaggerate their acting. All three films look similar, lacking artistry in the cinematography, set design, and color. In short, all three films squarely focus your attention on the murder.
It’s all jump scares and gore, jump scares and gore, and more jump scares and gore. And when you’ve watched enough horror, jump scares and gore just simply are not enough. Perhaps, back in their day, these films offered something novel and interesting that hadn’t been explored much. This idea of violence for the sake of violence in media perhaps was not common, and these films proved to be groundbreaking in their divergence from the norm. If this is the case, well bravo! They must have gained notoriety for something. Decades later, however, the tropes in these films have been far overused, making their viewing now almost comical.
Continued after the break
on sale now
A traveling merchant finds himself in quite the predicament when he manages to win a duel, leading him down a dark path. A tale from the Odds ‘n’ Endings Boutique.
”Almost” comical. Almost, because the films now are unintentionally hilarious. You cannot help but wonder how any of the camp counselors at Crystal Lake managed to survive long enough to become the adults they are, provided their inability to manage even the most basic tasks in self-preservation. What about the boogeyman in Haddonfield? The children attempt to warn the babysitter about the boogeyman and the babysitter had no desire to listen, much to the detriment of just about everyone she was friendly with. It’s the same situation on Elm Street, where the girl plagued with nightmares pleads with her parents to recognize the danger she’s in, all to no avail. It’s individualism at its finest, where even the children are left to fend for themselves, and no one’s safe from the knives in the dark.
On a related note, what is it about the popular horror trope of complete disbelief and dismissal of lurking danger? “Can’t be having the wool pulled over my eyes, no sir, I simply will not believe anything unless I see it for myself. I ain’t no sucker.” Also pure individualism. God forbid someone ask for help and you deny them the help because you don’t want to come out looking like a fool. Nope! Better off being cut up in the dark or find a family member dead, missing, or traumatized than risk being led on a wild goose chase. Lucky for them, being cut up in the dark is a viable option, and one that is delivered without panache.
You know what? These films may be terrible in this modern age of horror, but there is some useful thing that may be pulled out of them. Perhaps we will pursue an essay on classic horror slashers and their social commentary. As films that standalone however, the benefit in watching them lies solely in their historic value. And perhaps to provide background entertainment when hosting a game night where copious amounts of alcohol are being consumed.
I’ll be completely MAD with you: this list, along with this review, was roughly thrown together. If it feels like there really isn’t a solid theme to run or viable arguements made, that is because there isn’t and there are none, much like the films it refers to. And really, quite honestly, that’s all I have to say on the matter. Invite your friends over this weekend, pop on these movies, and roast them to your heart’s content. And mark your calendar to return next Thursday for another List!
Please, for the love of all that is unholy and calamitous in this world, please let us know what you think of this content! The buttons below will each take you to a respective survey consisting of two to three questions. Your opinions will help shape the future of Backstage at the Calamity.