🤡🤡🤡🤡 → 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡
You’ve seen that film. You know the one, where you’re yelling at the character on the screen to check behind the door, but they lack any spacial awareness whatsoever it makes you wonder how they even got to be the age they are in the film without meeting their demise much sooner over something far more dumb.
You’ve seen that film, the one where despite all logic, at least one of the characters manages to fumble out alive, leaving you wondering what kind of physics, magic system, or level of absolute ineptitude on the killer’s part made it possible for one of the leads to survive.
It’s the film where you spend half of it throwing your hands in the air with a loud “OMG,” or you’re grumbling “WTF.” It’s the film where you constantly ask the characters “What the fuck are you doing?!”
It’s the same movie with really bad puns and one liners. It’s the one where the situation is so incredibly absurd, there’s no way the people who bankrolled it were sober when it was pitched, and completely absent during its production.
You know the type. It’s the kind of movie that fuels the bitterness of horror film haters globally. This weekend, we present to you three such films: Takeout (2025), Seed (2021), and Ready or Not (2019). As you can see from above, these films have no less than four clowns in accord with 🤡 JEST: The Calamity Content Rating System, highlighting the absurd nature of these films as horror movie travesties. Still, there is value in watching them, and that value lies in the entertaining activity of roasting these film during your viewing of them.
What follows below is a general review of each film. There may be spoilers! However, doubtful your viewing experience will be hampered by spoilers; you already know the films are terrible.
So, gather your friends for this one, make a big ol’ batch of popcorn, and settle in for what would be the most frustrating cinematic weekend in horror except you know these films are terrible and are prepared for them. Normally we hope you enjoy the show; this time, we hope you enjoy the experience. If you come up with some particularly excellent roasts, please share them with us! We would love to hear all about it. You can use the survey links below.
Find the list on Letterboxd here:
