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Announcements
It is with great pleasure that I announce the Carnival of Calamity has a presence on Letterboxd! If you are unfamiliar with Letterboxd, please allow me to enlighten you: this is a platform that is fast becoming—if, in fact, it is not already—the foremost destination for film enjoyers. With a free account on Letterboxd, you can add unlimited films to your watch list; rate and review them; connect with other like-minded film enjoyers; and—this is really why I’m running my mouth about all this here—create innumerable lists of films for any fucking reason whatsoever.
Why am I telling you this? Because beginning with the first edition of the Backstage Pass Volume II, we here at the Calamity will be sharing with you lists! So many fucking LISTS! It’s going to be grand! Each list will include two to four films for your enjoyment over the weekend, with a full review of one film, and a brief discussion about why those particular films appear on a list together. Each list will be made public and shared in a separate post on the Backstage Pass site every Thursday.
Listen, if this excites you, and you are interested in receiving the list and movie review as an email each Thursday, please reply to this email with the phrase “I want the Letterboxd List in my inbox!” Feel free to copy and paste if you so desire. Otherwise, the content will be published separately, and you’ll receive a link in the Backstage Pass digest delivered on Friday.
If your curiosity is piqued, we have prepared a list for your perusal, taking two popular franchises—Predator and Alien—and intermixing the films chronologically, as they are popularly understood to lie on a timeline:
Attractions in Development
There really isn’t much to report here that hasn’t already been discussed ad nauseam. Not much writing this week, but rather a whole lot of preparation for what’s coming in Volume II. In Volume II, you will see the introduction of A Vampire’s Vengeance and Bus Driver, two stories you will be able to follow along with as they are being written. The Groundskeeper is getting their own publication; so too is a character from Book 3 of the Children of the Damned series, by way of revealing more of what the world looks like post-Unholy Requiem. These will have mention and be linked to in Volume II. And as mentioned above, the Letterboxd List. All prep. So much prep. Hopefully there will be time in the near future to return to the development of Body Count and finally open that up to guests.
Now, without further ado …
The Groundskeeper, Part XXIV
First time tuning in? Start here.
When we last saw our protagonist, they managed to escape the confines of the mausoleum and return to the employee hall to gather up the zombie. You can catch up with Part XXIII here. We’re still on the edge of our seats as to whether the zombie will finally be put to rest. Will that happen here? Or will our protagonist be eaten alive in the attempt? Let’s find out.
This Slow Down to Catch Up song and dance is great, and I'm on Cloud Nine, absolutely ecstatic that I'll be putting this zombie back in the ground finally. Being conscious of getting the lid caught on anything, I make little circles around graves and tombstones, I twirl and whirl, and all the while I'm whistling and humming. Thoughts of the mausoleum attempt to pry their way into my brain, but I do my best to shut them out; no sense in stressing out about a task that is a different problem, not one being solved at the moment.
We arrive at the grave and my soaring attitude comes crashing down as I realize I have not yet removed the old lid. Well fuck me. I look back at the zombie who, though they're still some ways away, will be right on top of me before I've managed to crack the coffin open. I'm so close to dealing with this thing! My frustration rises to a peak, and I have to fight it down. No matter what's happened, I still have a job to do, and that means not having a meltdown over a detail I glossed over earlier.
Looking around, I find I'm in the same predicament I found myself at the start when I still needed to dig up the grave. No rope in sight, no means of securing the zombie until I manage to pry off the old lid, nothing. I'm so close, and the last thing I want to do is hike it all the way to the employee hall, block up the zombie in there once again, hike all the way back, get everything ready, and then retrieve the zombie once and for all. There has got to be a better way.
Except the only solution that comes to mind is to lead the zombie off a little farther away and rush back to pull up the old lid in the hopes that I have enough time to do it before the zombie comes back.
Fuck it. I can stand here all night, circling the grave in hopes of finding a better solution, or just do the running back and forth and get it over with. I set the hammer and nails on the tombstone, lean the replacement chipboard lid against it, and back track toward the zombie.
I keep a wide enough space between us as I pass by, and sure enough, it comes following after me. I lead it as far as I dare—I don't want it to lose interest and go wandering off—and then sprint back to the grave. I grab the shovel nearby, hop in, and begin scraping away the remaining dirt that's fallen over the coffin since my venture into the green mist. I also carve out a neat gutter to one side so I have space to pry the lid up. Once I've cleared away the dirt, I scramble back out and retrieve the hammer.
I look in the direction of the zombie and it's shambling in my direction but still some ways off. Fine fine. I hope I can get this lid off before it gets here. With hammer in hand, I hop back into the grave and strike the side of the coffin with the claw end. The hammer just bounces away, digging into the dirt behind it.
I look at the coffin. Listen you little shit, you're going to let this hammer in, and you're not going to be stubborn about it. I shake the hammer free of the dirt and try again, with little luck. Or, maybe bad luck? I hear the soft groaning of the zombie not very far off. Great. I've already spent far more time running than I ever thought I would doing this job, and now I'm stuck doing more climbing and hopping.
I clamber out of the grave and lead the zombie away again.
It appears our protagonist’s trials continue! Will anything happen with ease on this night? If the zombie does not, in fact, eat our protagonist, there remains the matter of the mausoleum! And what, if anything, happens after that? Only one way to find out: Read Part XXV here!
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What’s Published and Where You Can Find It
Tales From the Odds ‘n’ Endings Boutique
The Proprietor—a timeless individual of many faces, few scruples, and a whole lot of character—runs the Odds ‘n’ Endings Boutique, dealing in artifacts containing peculiar traits. These are the tales of the Boutique’s patrons.
Calypso
Calypso is the reimagining of Immortality, the first story ever written in the Odds ‘n’ Endings universe, and the third to be published in it. Come and brave the journey with the narrator as they realize too late the cost for an otherwise interesting acquisition. Now available:
Showdown at Sunrise
A merchant finds himself in a bind when he manages to survive a duel. A chance encounter in an odd shoppe may just be the luck he needs. The question is, will this luck hold out?
A western with a little bit of magic and a whole lotta gumption.
Vegas Rift
A woman searches for her long lost husband. This is currently the most popular Mad Alex short story.
Other Stories
The Artist’s Spell cover
Final Encounter Cover
Final Encounter
A parent searches frantically for their daughter who has disappeared in their house.
Postscript
There is so much construction going on back here, it’s difficult to keep things in order. But we are doing our best to make things as accessible to you as possible while we develop! We here at the Calamity pride ourselves on taking feedback with grace, so if you have suggestions, requests, whatever, please do not hesitate to reply and say so! Also, if you are on the butterfly app, come follow me! You can find me on Bluesky here.