Are you receiving this as a forwarded email? Subscribe, so as not to miss out on future editions:
Volume II is nigh upon us! In this final edition of the Backstage Pass, you will read the finale of The Groundskeeper! And with the closure of this adventurous—albeit mysterious and mystifying—tale, arrives the closure of Volume I of this stupendous publication.
But fear not! Volume II sits ready and waiting on the horizon! We here at the Calamity have been hard at work preparing a most fascinating and engaging Backstage Experience for you. As it stands, it will do us all much good—you, our esteemed guest, for the purpose of catching up with final acts of The Groundskeeper; and we, here at the Calamity, to finalize details to the upcoming volume and subsequent site redesign—to take a short break! Therefore, it is with great pleasure and anticipation that we announce the arrival of Volume II in the first week of September.
The most notable progress being made among all of the attraction in development at the moment is happening with Body Count. Body Count, if you will recall, is the story of a lone huntress and how she becomes the killer whispered about in the shadows of alleyways and dark corners of taverns. The world-building has commenced, and the style being fine-tuned, the scaffold (read: outline) completed, and the construction begun.
Body Count will be in development during the Bus Driver’s journey in Bus Driver and our resident Vampire’s investigations in Vampire’s Vengeance, both serials of which will be featured beginning in next week’s edition of the Backstage Pass! So you’ll have not one, but two stories to occupy your attention while awaiting the brutal murderfest that will be Body Count.
Now, without further ado …
First time tuning in? Start here.
This is it! The Grand Finale! The moment we have all been waiting for! When we last saw our protagonist, they were fighting for their life, scrabbling to escape the clutches of the vile and terrifying creature from out of the green mist. You can catch up with Part XXXIII here. Now, will our courageous narrator make a swift end of the creature and thus see the fruits of their labor delivered to their bank account? Or will the creature make a swift and tasty end of the Groundskeeper and thus bring the story to grisly completion? Let’s find out.
I raise the shotgun and pull the trigger, but nothing happens. I try again and press harder, but again, nothing. I pump the shotgun and the empty shell in the chamber gets stuck on its way out. Fuck. I pump the shotgun again, and once again, nothing! I’m freaking out now, and the creature must sense I'm in trouble; it begins closing in faster.
I slam the side of the shotgun with the base of my palm. I don't know what I'm doing, but I gotta do something. I didn't make it this far to go down like this, dammit. I rattle the shotgun, pump it again, and nothing.
The creature picks up speed, and I'm going nuts trying to get this shell to let go. From the center of the road it leaps, and out of total frustration, I flip the shotgun over and swing it, slamming the butt against the creature’s throat and knocking it aside. The creature hits the ground and scrambles to get up. I flip the shotgun around, pump it, and still nothing. I turn to find the creature only a few feet away, just in time to have my feet swept out from under me by its too long tongue. I fall as its tongue wraps itself around my legs and begins drawing me toward its mouth. I pump the shotgun one last time, and to my astonishment watch as the empty shell pops out of the chamber and the next one slide in.
The creature is about to close its mouth over my feet when I pull the trigger. The shot tears half of its face away and sends the body hurtling across the street. The tongue goes lifeless around me. I aim the shotgun at the creature's body, waiting, maybe even willing it to move so I can pepper it with more lead. When it seems it isn't moving, and it isn't going to, I set the safety on the shotgun and set it down. And then I just sit there staring at the creature's body, still wrapped up in its lifeless tongue.
I almost didn't make it. This bastard almost got me. Out of all the things I have dealt with today, this was the icing on the cake. I almost got eaten by some nightmare.
I hear the gates creek open, and a black Lincoln Towncar rolls up, slow. I watch the window on the passenger side lower as it pulls up. An older gentleman peers at me through the open window. He looks me, he looks at the severed tongue, he looks at the shotgun, he looks at me again. He turns to look out his own window, looking at the creature's body, probably. As he turns back, I can see he's frowning. And then he starts nodding. Then he says,
"I can see you're going to do just fine here."
He rolls up the window and continues on toward the mausoleum.
THE FUCKING END!
Here’s a free Backstage Pass. Share it with a friend!
Are you enjoying the story so far? Please consider sharing this with someone you think will enjoy it as well! After all, things tend to be much more enjoyable when you can experience them with acquaintances, coworkers, friends, and loved ones.
What’s Published and Where You Can Find It
Tales From the Odds ‘n’ Endings Boutique
The Proprietor—a timeless individual of many faces, few scruples, and a whole lot of character—runs the Odds ‘n’ Endings Boutique, dealing in artifacts containing peculiar traits. These are the tales of the Boutique’s patrons.
Calypso
Calypso is the reimagining of Immortality, the first story ever written in the Odds ‘n’ Endings universe, and the third to be published in it. Come and brave the journey with the narrator as they realize too late the cost for an otherwise interesting acquisition. Now available:
Showdown at Sunrise
A merchant finds himself in a bind when he manages to survive a duel. A chance encounter in an odd shoppe may just be the luck he needs. The question is, will this luck hold out?
A western with a little bit of magic and a whole lotta gumption.
Vegas Rift
A woman searches for her long lost husband. This is currently the most popular Mad Alex short story.
Other Stories
The Artist’s Spell cover
Final Encounter Cover
Final Encounter
A parent searches frantically for their daughter who has disappeared in their house.
Postscript
Wow! Turns out the Groundskeeper’s shift ended with a grisly death anyway, though not that of our esteemed protagonist. Who would have thought that after all that, they’d manage to make it to the finish line? Our dearest Groundskeeper has a whole lot of gumption. And now you’ll get to read more about their exploits on the nefarious grounds of the Necropolis! Go sign up to receive the Necropolitan Gazette, a new publication brought to you by the incredible personages behind the Carnival of Calamity.
This concludes the very first volume of the Backstage Pass! Stay tuned, as we have much much more to offer you on the launch of Volume II. See you then!